Boy, what a weekend! I have gotten back today from the 2 day Men'sAdvance weekend in Indianapolis. It was as Men's convention put on bythe Indiana Assembly of God district. Bishop T. D. Jakes was our guestspeaker for today.

It was a great weekend. The message andworship last night was powerful. The pastor (I can't remember his name)talked about how we had to go forward. When everything seemed againstus, we needed to go forward to toward God. He said we needed to getinto God's face, because if our backs were to God, we were facing thewrong direction.

T. D. Jakes message today was also powerful. Hetold us about so many things we as men deal with, and faults we allhave. He talked about how we like sports because their are rules, andwe understand the rules. We know how to score, but when the rules arechanged, we don't understand. He talked about how men are taught tokeep their "real" self inside, and not show there emotions. He talkedabout how we are so good at putting on the face of "everything is fine"when inside we are screaming for help. He talked about how we can be ina room full of people and be so lonely inside.

I realize thatthis is really strange, but I want to share this. Maybe someone outthere is where I am and this will help. Talk about hitting the nail onthe head. He described me and what I go through daily. I have had thatvery thought, "Here I am with 'friends,' yet I feel so alone. No onereally knows me." It is so true. To a point, I am afraid to let someoneget to know me, because I don't want to be hurt (which has happened inthe past). Also, I am not sure I have ever learned how to be a friendto others (my teenage years were spent very much alone).

"Betransparent to someone! Are you nuts," someone might say (I know I do).Yes it is hard. Yes it is frightening. Yes it is needed! I agree thatit is needed, but to whom? Who do you trust enough to know the "real"you. Who can you really open up that much to, to show yourvulnerabilities to, your weaknesses, your foolishness to?

One ofthe workshops I went to was about having an accountability partner, aBattle Buddy. Someone to "Do Life" with, to walk through the trencheswith. The Bible teaches that:

Ecc 4:9-12 NIV Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: (10) If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! (11) Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? (12) Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

We all need a partner,to help pick us up when we fall, to encourage us when we are down, todrive us to be better tomorrow than we are today. Men especially needthis. We do not form relationships easily, and we need this sort of arelationship. We need a partner to meet with regularly.

All ofthese are things I am praying about for my life. I need them, and I amlacking greatly in these areas. I had a great time, but I have notgotten the answer I need from God yet. I don't know why, but I am goingto try and go forward as best I know to reach the goals God has for mylife.