I sang a song in college while getting my voice degree based on thispoem. It was one of the first I did. People afterwards said I looked sosad while singing it, too which I said, "Well, did you listen to thewords?"

Thoreau's melancholy poem may seem whimsical to many,but I looked so sad that day because back then I understood what "quietdesperation" was. In fact, I still understand what it means. There aretimes when I am at home, like tonight, when the silence seems almostphysical, like it's closing in on me. Makes me desperate to get outfrom under it, and because its silence, it's quiet.

Sometimesthe silence is like a knife, cutting into me when I am alone. Othertimes it is like a searing branding iron, and others it is like ablaring band. There are times the pain is so great it brings tears tomy eyes.

Its times like this that I need to fall back into thearms of Jesus, my savior. I'm not good at this, not at all. Though Iknow that when I spend time with Him I feel better, many times I wish Ijust had a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on. Sometimes that desireis so strong....

So what has brought this on? Memories (allalone in the moonlight... sorry, couldn't resist). Having old friendscome back into your life makes you remember old times that seem betterin many ways (isn't strange how sometimes you forget the bad times).Combine that with difficulties with my ex-wife and worry over mystep-daughter (who I hardly get to see) and it all adds up to me, underthe covers, hiding away from the world (or typing to my blog). Anyradio shows out there want to hear my story (think a movie with TomHanks and Meg Ryan, one of my favorites, though I can't hardly getthrough it anymore).

Well, it's late (at least for some people)and I should get to bed (though I likely won't). To my long lost friendfrom Burger King (you know who you are), I hope that I will be able tofind out where you are and talk to you again (do you still drive a FordEscort?) I'll keep stopping by K-Mart in hopes that you are there. Ifnot, well, let me dream, at least for the night.