As I read this I was struck by the line, "She understood instinctively that people - especially our children - might not believe everything we say, but they will believe everything we do."  Last night we started a new chapter in our youth group at Radiant Life Church.  We have been only having 3 students at our Wednesday night's (and sometimes less!).  My pastor had been trying to encourage me to move from a small little room we met in (we called it the dungeon) into the fellowship hall.  I had been arguing that it was not worth it with only 3 students.  Well a couple of weeks ago we had 2 families visit the church on Sunday, both with 2 teenage students.  So last week he told me to move if they showed up, and if they didn't to move this week and radically change what we have been doing.  The entire Wed worship team (which I lead) moved from the adult Bible study to the fellowship hall for Youth Worship, I stood in front on a platform to speak instead of sitting in a circle with them.  We had video's playing before the service and started worship off with a video of Take It All (we are still learning as a worship team).  I was scared out of my mind.  What if no one showed up?  What if my daughter was the only one there (she is one of my students, much to her dismay)?  What if this fall's flat on it's face, a complete failure?  I had a bad day at work the last couple of days.  I was running around like crazy moving sound equipment.  A video cable was bad and I had to run to Radio Shake to look for a new one, and they did not have one long enough!  So I had to juty-rig the entire setup to get the video and power point working.  I was a mess.

I started the videos and music at 6:45, 15 minutes before we were to start.  We had 2 students at that time.  I have to say I was pleased with two of the new students showed about 10 minutes before 7.  They got involved in a great ping-pong game with some of the other students and one of my helpers.  The count down video started and I counted down the start of the new youth service.  I am not a pastor nor have I had any training in this (though God has gifted me to teach).  It was a humbling experience to realize I had new students involved and enjoying the service (we even had one of the 11 year old Royal Rangers ask when they can join youth!).  Needless to say, God came through!

Today when I read that statement it stuck me how in my own life so many times my words and actions don't match.  My 15 year old daughter has come to live with me from her mom's (at least for the time) and I wonder what she sees being around me a lot more?  Has it changed her impression of me?  Has she seen more good of bad?  How have I influenced her, good or bad?  What about all these new students I am getting (or 2 is a lot to me, LOL)?  How will and do they see me?  Do they see someone that models Jesus Christ?  Or do they just see Darryn, a middle-aged guy to stuborn to grow-up?

I wonder?